Motherhood Madness

Today is one of those days feeling the insecurities, the struggles, the pain. Today is a day I want to be left alone and to just write and express. But that isn't an option because there are littles who need fed, held, changed, entertainment, most of all love. Most of the time I can handle that EASY but today....today is not one of those days. 

I know my energy is felt in the whole house which tends to make an even bigger mess of things. The children become even more needy and every little bit of silence is consumed by cries or laughter and hyper activity and there's the television that is on with a show in hopes for just a little bit of time away but it is being drowned out by the chaos. Husband is working which is great but it leaves this mom in a maddening state. I am thankful that I know why and how to take a step inside while right in the middle of insanity. I understand the importance of my breath. In all of this I'm learning a lesson, taught to me so many times....about patience and the power of a whisper and a hug. I'm being reminded how moments fly fast and time is nothing to judge. I'm understanding that I do not hold the wheel and that my moments are are part of me, not separate, and out of my control.

I'm hearing whispers of guidance informing me that all only lasts mere seconds. Whispers to pay attention to things taken for granted. Little fingers and toes covered in slobber, his teeth (only 2) showing from a smile, giggles galore from fart noises along with other silly madness. And to take in and feel all there is to feel with each of their hugs.

Although I've screamed and freaked out a million times today, I've also been learning. The same lessons repeat until it's been learned. I think patience will always be something that I'm having to learn over over again. I'm okay with this because at the end of the day those whispers come back and they are filled with little stories of moments with the loves of my life. Moments into memories that I hope will forever remain with me.

So thank you, Bad day, for reminding me to stop and get grounded and take in a life lesson that is truly a blessing in disguise.